I've received a few e-mails and comments regarding whether or not we've moved in... Yes! We moved in last Friday!!! It's been a busy time, including football games, house guests, work travel and boxes! Lots of boxes! I'd love to say all the boxes were unpacked and everything was in place, but they're not! It's livable! It's wonderful! But I've still got some work ahead of me. Not too much, but I'm anxious to be done with it! :)
Thank you to everyone for your prayers and well wishes!!! I hope all is well!
Monday, October 20, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
We Bought a HOUSE!!!
Yea!!! We bought a house!!! We put in an offer last Thursday and the deal was done Saturday!
So… how did all of this come about?
Last Thursday I was in the process of typing an email of homes I wanted to look at over the weekend with our Realtor, Michelle Merritt. I realized I hadn’t written down one of the addresses and wasn’t sure of the house number so I went back online to verify. I tried to look up the address specifically by the neighborhood and the website wouldn’t budge, so I backed out and pulled up my saved search of the Middle School area. It went right through and the first thing on the screen was a new listing! I’d just checked the web at lunch and there were no new listings! So my heart immediately started pounding a little faster. And as soon as I pulled it up and saw the address… I had no doubt it would end up being the right house!
What did the address have to do with it? Well… our new address is 17739 DORCAS Circle. Dorcas is pronounced “dork”–us. One of my first memories of Glen and Karen moving up here was when we drove past Dorcas Circle. I remember thinking it was a funny name and would hate to live on a street with “dork” in the name. It’s made me giggle several times over the last several years when we’d come up to visit and we’d drive by the street. So, of course, the house I’d find would end up being on Dorcas!
As soon as I got through giggling to myself, I called Realtor Michelle and left her a voice message saying I wanted to look at it as soon as possible. She called me back and asked if I wanted to look at it that evening and I said “Absolutely!” I just had a funny feeling I really needed to see it. She called me back to let me know we could squeak in at 5:45, just before both of us had to have our kids at sports practices. She also informed me the listing had just been posted and the other Realtor was quite shocked. There wasn’t even a sign in the yard yet!
There were no pictures on the web, so I had no idea what the house looked like. I can’t explain it, but as I drove straight from the office to the house… I just knew it was the house. My head was flooded with praise and worship songs the whole drive. As soon as I pulled up in front of the house I wanted to cry. It was beautiful!!!
Steve and his parents showed up shortly after I did and we all walked around the outside for a few minutes until Michelle got there. We made mental notes of the outside… It’s fully fenced, the front is full brick and the remainder of the house is a very tastefully done vinyl siding. (Most homes up here are wood siding with little brick or rock on the exterior due to the higher cost of the products in this area.) The landscaping was developed and looked great and there were several good size trees. All a good start!
Once Michelle got there we hurried to the door! As soon as she pushed the door open all I remember is her saying “Oh, Ame!” She knew as soon as she walked in! She’s not only my realtor but one of my very best friends here in Nebraska! She and I have had countless conversations about homes, hopes, wants, have-to-haves, room sizes, etc. And she knew the instant she opened the door! And she was right!!!
As we walked through the house… room-by-room… it just become more and more clear. I knew it, Steve knew it, Steve’s mom knew it… We all knew it was the one! So before we left the house we told Michelle we were ready to put in an offer. Mind you, over the course of the last eight months we have not moved quickly on any potential home purchase. We’ve been very careful, given ourselves time to think and process, time to weigh the pros/cons, time to research, time to pray, etc. This time, it just felt right. I knew. Once we got all the kids situated with practices Michelle came over with the paperwork. The listing hadn’t even been on the market 4 hours when the seller’s received their first offer. Given the current market, you can only imagine their surprise!
I didn’t think I’d be able to sleep that night, but I did. Soundly! The best sleep I’d had in weeks! I woke up before the alarm and was immediately thinking of the house. Going through the pros and cons, wondering if we’d moved too fast, but the idea of not getting the house made me more anxious than the idea of anything else. I prayed and felt a peace and stillness inside. I knew it was all going to be okay, one way or the other.
It was still painful to wait for the seller’s counter-offer and when it came in I was heart broken. Since the home had been on the market less than 24 hours, I had tried to prepare myself for them not to be willing to come off their price much… but given the market, I was really hoping they’d come down. Sadly they did not. The first counter didn’t move them off their asking by much at all and I was prepared for Steve to throw up his hands and say we’d move on to a better deal.
I called Steve immediately and gave him the gist of the counter and then he had to get off the phone to finish a meeting. He had no response at that time and I didn’t get to talk to him again until the end of the work day. It was excruciating to wait for his response and to be able to talk to him about things. And while he was notably disappointed with the counter, he was prepared to counter back! So we did…
We had their response early Saturday morning. It wasn’t great, but it was reasonable and closer to where we wanted to be. So we asked for a second walk through prior to giving our acceptance or counter. We walked back through it that afternoon with Steve’s parents and his sister and nieces. We all went in with specific things to look at, tape measures and note pads in hand.
As we were getting ready to leave I asked Steve what we were going to do. He turned to me and asked what I wanted to do. I told him I just wanted to accept. I didn’t want to go back and forth over another $1500. He said okay and we gave the nod to Michelle and she called the other Realtor with our verbal agreement. We left the house to head straight to Tyler’s football game. We’d barely left the neighborhood when she called to tell us we had it! So we made our way to game and as soon as we got home she brought over the final papers for us to sign!!!
The “SOLD” sign was in the yard before nightfall!
Glen ran to the store once the papers were signed and returned with a bottle of champagne! He poured everyone a glass, including teeny-tiny ones for the boys and toasted our new home! Karen broke out some of her Harry & David’s Pepper Jelly and made this amazing cream cheese dip and we finished our glass of champagne, talked about plans and snacked on the incredible dip! Then we loaded up and headed to Michelle Merritt’s house to receive hugs and congratulatory cheers from a few of our friends! It was all very nice and so sweet!
Steve and I both woke up before the sun was up Sunday morning! We tried desperately to go back to sleep, but it was no use! We got up and went downstairs. I flipped through organizing and decorating books, he made coffee and cooked breakfast and we just talked and talked and talked about our new house.
It’s just so exciting. I knew once we finally had our home it would help fill a small void that being “homeless” (so to speak) had left. And I knew there would be learning in the waiting. And I knew we would appreciate it all the more once it happened. But I still can’t put to words how HAPPY I feel!
There’s still a part of me that feels sad. Owning a home in Omaha, Nebraska, makes living here all the more permanent. And while we love it here and the boys have adjusted well… It makes the fact we’re eight hours away from our family and friends in OKC more concrete. We love you and miss you all so much!
I can’t deny it makes my heart hurt, but the absolute JOY of knowing we waited, we saved, we paid down more debt, we were smart about our decisions and have charted a new course worthy of all the prayers… it’s simply… priceless!
Thank you all for your encouragement, prayers and well wishes!!!
God is Good!
So… how did all of this come about?
Last Thursday I was in the process of typing an email of homes I wanted to look at over the weekend with our Realtor, Michelle Merritt. I realized I hadn’t written down one of the addresses and wasn’t sure of the house number so I went back online to verify. I tried to look up the address specifically by the neighborhood and the website wouldn’t budge, so I backed out and pulled up my saved search of the Middle School area. It went right through and the first thing on the screen was a new listing! I’d just checked the web at lunch and there were no new listings! So my heart immediately started pounding a little faster. And as soon as I pulled it up and saw the address… I had no doubt it would end up being the right house!
What did the address have to do with it? Well… our new address is 17739 DORCAS Circle. Dorcas is pronounced “dork”–us. One of my first memories of Glen and Karen moving up here was when we drove past Dorcas Circle. I remember thinking it was a funny name and would hate to live on a street with “dork” in the name. It’s made me giggle several times over the last several years when we’d come up to visit and we’d drive by the street. So, of course, the house I’d find would end up being on Dorcas!
As soon as I got through giggling to myself, I called Realtor Michelle and left her a voice message saying I wanted to look at it as soon as possible. She called me back and asked if I wanted to look at it that evening and I said “Absolutely!” I just had a funny feeling I really needed to see it. She called me back to let me know we could squeak in at 5:45, just before both of us had to have our kids at sports practices. She also informed me the listing had just been posted and the other Realtor was quite shocked. There wasn’t even a sign in the yard yet!
There were no pictures on the web, so I had no idea what the house looked like. I can’t explain it, but as I drove straight from the office to the house… I just knew it was the house. My head was flooded with praise and worship songs the whole drive. As soon as I pulled up in front of the house I wanted to cry. It was beautiful!!!
Steve and his parents showed up shortly after I did and we all walked around the outside for a few minutes until Michelle got there. We made mental notes of the outside… It’s fully fenced, the front is full brick and the remainder of the house is a very tastefully done vinyl siding. (Most homes up here are wood siding with little brick or rock on the exterior due to the higher cost of the products in this area.) The landscaping was developed and looked great and there were several good size trees. All a good start!
Once Michelle got there we hurried to the door! As soon as she pushed the door open all I remember is her saying “Oh, Ame!” She knew as soon as she walked in! She’s not only my realtor but one of my very best friends here in Nebraska! She and I have had countless conversations about homes, hopes, wants, have-to-haves, room sizes, etc. And she knew the instant she opened the door! And she was right!!!
As we walked through the house… room-by-room… it just become more and more clear. I knew it, Steve knew it, Steve’s mom knew it… We all knew it was the one! So before we left the house we told Michelle we were ready to put in an offer. Mind you, over the course of the last eight months we have not moved quickly on any potential home purchase. We’ve been very careful, given ourselves time to think and process, time to weigh the pros/cons, time to research, time to pray, etc. This time, it just felt right. I knew. Once we got all the kids situated with practices Michelle came over with the paperwork. The listing hadn’t even been on the market 4 hours when the seller’s received their first offer. Given the current market, you can only imagine their surprise!
I didn’t think I’d be able to sleep that night, but I did. Soundly! The best sleep I’d had in weeks! I woke up before the alarm and was immediately thinking of the house. Going through the pros and cons, wondering if we’d moved too fast, but the idea of not getting the house made me more anxious than the idea of anything else. I prayed and felt a peace and stillness inside. I knew it was all going to be okay, one way or the other.
It was still painful to wait for the seller’s counter-offer and when it came in I was heart broken. Since the home had been on the market less than 24 hours, I had tried to prepare myself for them not to be willing to come off their price much… but given the market, I was really hoping they’d come down. Sadly they did not. The first counter didn’t move them off their asking by much at all and I was prepared for Steve to throw up his hands and say we’d move on to a better deal.
I called Steve immediately and gave him the gist of the counter and then he had to get off the phone to finish a meeting. He had no response at that time and I didn’t get to talk to him again until the end of the work day. It was excruciating to wait for his response and to be able to talk to him about things. And while he was notably disappointed with the counter, he was prepared to counter back! So we did…
We had their response early Saturday morning. It wasn’t great, but it was reasonable and closer to where we wanted to be. So we asked for a second walk through prior to giving our acceptance or counter. We walked back through it that afternoon with Steve’s parents and his sister and nieces. We all went in with specific things to look at, tape measures and note pads in hand.
As we were getting ready to leave I asked Steve what we were going to do. He turned to me and asked what I wanted to do. I told him I just wanted to accept. I didn’t want to go back and forth over another $1500. He said okay and we gave the nod to Michelle and she called the other Realtor with our verbal agreement. We left the house to head straight to Tyler’s football game. We’d barely left the neighborhood when she called to tell us we had it! So we made our way to game and as soon as we got home she brought over the final papers for us to sign!!!
The “SOLD” sign was in the yard before nightfall!
Glen ran to the store once the papers were signed and returned with a bottle of champagne! He poured everyone a glass, including teeny-tiny ones for the boys and toasted our new home! Karen broke out some of her Harry & David’s Pepper Jelly and made this amazing cream cheese dip and we finished our glass of champagne, talked about plans and snacked on the incredible dip! Then we loaded up and headed to Michelle Merritt’s house to receive hugs and congratulatory cheers from a few of our friends! It was all very nice and so sweet!
Steve and I both woke up before the sun was up Sunday morning! We tried desperately to go back to sleep, but it was no use! We got up and went downstairs. I flipped through organizing and decorating books, he made coffee and cooked breakfast and we just talked and talked and talked about our new house.
It’s just so exciting. I knew once we finally had our home it would help fill a small void that being “homeless” (so to speak) had left. And I knew there would be learning in the waiting. And I knew we would appreciate it all the more once it happened. But I still can’t put to words how HAPPY I feel!
There’s still a part of me that feels sad. Owning a home in Omaha, Nebraska, makes living here all the more permanent. And while we love it here and the boys have adjusted well… It makes the fact we’re eight hours away from our family and friends in OKC more concrete. We love you and miss you all so much!
I can’t deny it makes my heart hurt, but the absolute JOY of knowing we waited, we saved, we paid down more debt, we were smart about our decisions and have charted a new course worthy of all the prayers… it’s simply… priceless!
Thank you all for your encouragement, prayers and well wishes!!!
God is Good!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Hello!
Wow! It’s been a while since I posted. The arms on the clock just keeping moving…
It’s Blake’s birthday week! He turns “14” this Saturday!!! It doesn’t seem real. I was reading a friend’s blog, her son is potty training and she has another baby on the way. It seems like only yesterday I was doing the same thing. Blake was testing the bounds of potty training and I was waddling around with Tyler in my belly!
I spent some time this weekend just watching the boys. I’m so proud of the young men they’re becoming. I watched Blake interacting with the younger kids and loved watching how patient and gentle he was. We don’t see that side of him as often these days. It was a wonderful reminder of the heart God’s put in this young man.
Speaking of God, we tried a new Church this past Sunday. We may go back. The Pastor was on sabbatical and they had a guest speaker. While we enjoyed the guest speaker, we’d like to attend when the main Pastor is speaking.
I’ve had some sincere concerns about not having a church home for the boys and the effect it could have on their spiritual growth. I know it’s affecting mine. We still do things together as a family and watch messages online, but we’re all missing out on the fellowship and learning that goes along with seeing others in action and participating in Youth, Volunteer and Life Group programs.
It was encouraging to realize how much they got from the message. I wasn’t even sure they were paying attention. But they had plenty to share and say afterwards. The message was about the Armor of God. The speaker had props, graphics, a great sense of humor, but ran out of time and didn’t get to the sword. Both boys were disappointed. They wanted to see the sword. They just knew it was real and had to be amazing. It wasn’t all about the props though. They also picked up on the “how”… the speaker told us his wife, as he put it, has this annoying habit of asking “how?” Any time he preaches she wants to know how to implement, how to apply, how to you put it into practice, etc. Well, with each piece of armor he talked about how to put the armor on and how to keep it on. It was really good.
Maybe I’ll share some of his ideas in another post. I hope all is well with everyone! Our hearts and prayers are with all of our family and friends near and far.
It’s Blake’s birthday week! He turns “14” this Saturday!!! It doesn’t seem real. I was reading a friend’s blog, her son is potty training and she has another baby on the way. It seems like only yesterday I was doing the same thing. Blake was testing the bounds of potty training and I was waddling around with Tyler in my belly!
I spent some time this weekend just watching the boys. I’m so proud of the young men they’re becoming. I watched Blake interacting with the younger kids and loved watching how patient and gentle he was. We don’t see that side of him as often these days. It was a wonderful reminder of the heart God’s put in this young man.
Speaking of God, we tried a new Church this past Sunday. We may go back. The Pastor was on sabbatical and they had a guest speaker. While we enjoyed the guest speaker, we’d like to attend when the main Pastor is speaking.
I’ve had some sincere concerns about not having a church home for the boys and the effect it could have on their spiritual growth. I know it’s affecting mine. We still do things together as a family and watch messages online, but we’re all missing out on the fellowship and learning that goes along with seeing others in action and participating in Youth, Volunteer and Life Group programs.
It was encouraging to realize how much they got from the message. I wasn’t even sure they were paying attention. But they had plenty to share and say afterwards. The message was about the Armor of God. The speaker had props, graphics, a great sense of humor, but ran out of time and didn’t get to the sword. Both boys were disappointed. They wanted to see the sword. They just knew it was real and had to be amazing. It wasn’t all about the props though. They also picked up on the “how”… the speaker told us his wife, as he put it, has this annoying habit of asking “how?” Any time he preaches she wants to know how to implement, how to apply, how to you put it into practice, etc. Well, with each piece of armor he talked about how to put the armor on and how to keep it on. It was really good.
Maybe I’ll share some of his ideas in another post. I hope all is well with everyone! Our hearts and prayers are with all of our family and friends near and far.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Update
My family arrived road weary but happy last Thursday! It was so good to see them!!! That evening I took them to see two homes we'd been going back and forth on for several weeks. I also invited my sister-in-law and a neighborhood friend. Everyone seemed to really like the home and my sister-in-law wanted to know why we hadn't put an offer in on the house already?!
So with bated breath we put in an offer Friday morning. We started our 4th of July celebration with a house offer. The Sellers responded early afternoon. They were not willing to come down any more than $4000 off the asking price. It simply wasn't enough and if that was his one and only final offer... it wouldn't work. So, we smiled at one another and told our Realtor to tell them "No thank you." I was fine the rest of the day, for the most part, and had a wonderful time with my birthday boy, family and friends.
I woke up early Saturday morning heart-broken. I cried off and on most of the morning. Once everyone in the house started to get up and around, I tried to hold it in but it seemed to come out in grumpy spurts...
On a happier note, Saturday afternoon we saw the new movie, Wall-E and took the girls for a tour of the Village Pointe, an open-air shopping mall. We had a fun afternoon. Mom, the girls and I wound down in the basement watching a "chick flick"... :)
Sunday morning we fixed a big breakfast and the OKC crew prepared for the trip home. After they left, Steve and I ran a few errands and made our way by some homes for sale. We came across one that really grabbed our interest and the price had come down putting it in our price range.
I contacted our Realtor to make arrangements to see the home. She called back to tell us it was sold and scheduled to close this Friday. We decided to make arrangements to go ahead and look at the home along with another home this builder had for sale.
It was a beautiful home, a big covered front porch with stone and cedar columns, a nice open layout with great colors and features, it had my drop zone area for the boys and a HUGE garage! We weren't overly impressed with some of the detail work, it was a bit sloppy. But seeing the house definitely got our wheels turning. If we could have all that for less than the house we'd bid on, should we consider building? We’d talked about it before, but never actually sat down with a builder to see what we could do…
In the midst of all this, my Realtor contacted the Seller's Realtor from the home we'd put the offer on... to see if she had any insight. The home had been on the market for a year, it was a divorce situation, the man had basically told our Realtor he expected a low offer and the home - although in great condition - needs updating. Turns out, they were offended by our low offer and felt there was no way we would be able to come to a compromise. The Realtor felt she could get them pretty close to the limit we'd set for ourselves.
So... I've spent a majority of this week weaving and bobbing between having a nice home in the neighborhood I want vs building a home I want in a neighborhood I have no ties to...
I'm mentally exhausted. I'm tired of feeling like all I think about, all I talk about is HOUSES! I don't understand why we're making this so difficult...
When I stop and read this… it seems silly and trivial… especially when I read the blogs of friends that are participating in truly amazing trips and missions, touching lives of people that don't have homes, parents, food, fair wages, etc. and I read updates on people still working their way out from the storms and flooding over the last several weeks and I think how frivolous my despair seems.
I am blessed! And we will find the right home at the right time. Thanks to everyone for there words of encouragement, insight and prayers!
So with bated breath we put in an offer Friday morning. We started our 4th of July celebration with a house offer. The Sellers responded early afternoon. They were not willing to come down any more than $4000 off the asking price. It simply wasn't enough and if that was his one and only final offer... it wouldn't work. So, we smiled at one another and told our Realtor to tell them "No thank you." I was fine the rest of the day, for the most part, and had a wonderful time with my birthday boy, family and friends.
I woke up early Saturday morning heart-broken. I cried off and on most of the morning. Once everyone in the house started to get up and around, I tried to hold it in but it seemed to come out in grumpy spurts...
On a happier note, Saturday afternoon we saw the new movie, Wall-E and took the girls for a tour of the Village Pointe, an open-air shopping mall. We had a fun afternoon. Mom, the girls and I wound down in the basement watching a "chick flick"... :)
Sunday morning we fixed a big breakfast and the OKC crew prepared for the trip home. After they left, Steve and I ran a few errands and made our way by some homes for sale. We came across one that really grabbed our interest and the price had come down putting it in our price range.
I contacted our Realtor to make arrangements to see the home. She called back to tell us it was sold and scheduled to close this Friday. We decided to make arrangements to go ahead and look at the home along with another home this builder had for sale.
It was a beautiful home, a big covered front porch with stone and cedar columns, a nice open layout with great colors and features, it had my drop zone area for the boys and a HUGE garage! We weren't overly impressed with some of the detail work, it was a bit sloppy. But seeing the house definitely got our wheels turning. If we could have all that for less than the house we'd bid on, should we consider building? We’d talked about it before, but never actually sat down with a builder to see what we could do…
In the midst of all this, my Realtor contacted the Seller's Realtor from the home we'd put the offer on... to see if she had any insight. The home had been on the market for a year, it was a divorce situation, the man had basically told our Realtor he expected a low offer and the home - although in great condition - needs updating. Turns out, they were offended by our low offer and felt there was no way we would be able to come to a compromise. The Realtor felt she could get them pretty close to the limit we'd set for ourselves.
So... I've spent a majority of this week weaving and bobbing between having a nice home in the neighborhood I want vs building a home I want in a neighborhood I have no ties to...
I'm mentally exhausted. I'm tired of feeling like all I think about, all I talk about is HOUSES! I don't understand why we're making this so difficult...
When I stop and read this… it seems silly and trivial… especially when I read the blogs of friends that are participating in truly amazing trips and missions, touching lives of people that don't have homes, parents, food, fair wages, etc. and I read updates on people still working their way out from the storms and flooding over the last several weeks and I think how frivolous my despair seems.
I am blessed! And we will find the right home at the right time. Thanks to everyone for there words of encouragement, insight and prayers!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Happy Fourth of July!
Hello! Hello!
Man, time flies in the summer...
I'm getting ready to leave work, run some last minute errands and make sure the house is ready before the long weekend starts. My parents, youngest sister - Katie, and my nieces - Kaylyn and Kirsten, are headed North right now as I type! I'm so excited to see them! Yea!
When they get here, I'll be dragging them out to look at a couple of homes with me. We've about narrowed it down to one, but I'm really looking forward to my parent's input! And if turns out we buy a certain home, I'll be looking to Katie for some "structural" direction! :)
Tomorrow we have a full day of food, swimming, food, water balloons, food, games, presents, birthday cookies and fireworks planned! Presents and Birthday Cookies??? That's right - our 4th of July baby, Tyler, is turning 12!!! That just seems crazy!!!
Saturday I plan to play and relax and will probably take the "girls" for a quick tour of a few of the nearby shopping arenas!
I hope everyone has a Safe and Happy Fourth of July!
Man, time flies in the summer...
I'm getting ready to leave work, run some last minute errands and make sure the house is ready before the long weekend starts. My parents, youngest sister - Katie, and my nieces - Kaylyn and Kirsten, are headed North right now as I type! I'm so excited to see them! Yea!
When they get here, I'll be dragging them out to look at a couple of homes with me. We've about narrowed it down to one, but I'm really looking forward to my parent's input! And if turns out we buy a certain home, I'll be looking to Katie for some "structural" direction! :)
Tomorrow we have a full day of food, swimming, food, water balloons, food, games, presents, birthday cookies and fireworks planned! Presents and Birthday Cookies??? That's right - our 4th of July baby, Tyler, is turning 12!!! That just seems crazy!!!
Saturday I plan to play and relax and will probably take the "girls" for a quick tour of a few of the nearby shopping arenas!
I hope everyone has a Safe and Happy Fourth of July!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Closed!
It's official... we're homeless! :) We closed on the OKC house this afternoon.
We've got a list of homes to tour this weekend, so I'm hopeful we'll find the right fit!
| Hope all is well with everyone!!! |
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Still here...
I'm still here! It's just been busy.
We got an offer on our home in Oklahoma City as we were driving down for Memorial Weekend and had it wrapped up before we headed back to Omaha. We're scheduled to close June 19th!
I've possibly found our home in Omaha... just have to work out some details. Any moment my brain is not concentrating on something specific... it wanders to the home search. It's a bit exhausting.
We're surviving the strong winds, rain
I will write more soon! I hope everyone's having a great summer!
We got an offer on our home in Oklahoma City as we were driving down for Memorial Weekend and had it wrapped up before we headed back to Omaha. We're scheduled to close June 19th!
I've possibly found our home in Omaha... just have to work out some details. Any moment my brain is not concentrating on something specific... it wanders to the home search. It's a bit exhausting.
We're surviving the strong winds, rain
I will write more soon! I hope everyone's having a great summer!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
No More Elementary School…
Well, it’s official. School is out and Tyler successfully completed the 5th grade. We attended the 5th Grade Recognition Ceremony this morning. The kids sang two songs, the principal spoke, the teachers handed out “Candy” awards and then they were each presented with their Certificates of Completion and Report Cards. Tyler had prepared me ahead of time for the songs, telling me they were meant to make the moms cry. I did my best, but my eyes did get a bit watery. Tyler’s candy award was Rolos, because he rolls with the punches. His cousin, Ashleigh, received gummy worms for being a great reader (book worm). There were lots of different awards. Tyler said he was surprised by his, but really liked the Rolos.
This means both boys will be at the Middle School next year; Blake as an 8th grader and Tyler as a 6th grader.
Wow! Where has the time gone? I remember when I was much younger, my grandmother would tell me to slow down and not be in such a hurry to grow up. She told me time would start moving faster the older I got. And she was soooooo right!
I’m looking forward to this summer. We haven’t loaded the calendar quite as full as in summers past. I’m looking forward to a slower paced summer. I’m sure the boys will find ways to fill it with swimming, friends and other activities… but I see plenty of family time and play time in our future.
Happy Summer Break!
Congratulations to all the Graduates!!!
This means both boys will be at the Middle School next year; Blake as an 8th grader and Tyler as a 6th grader.
Wow! Where has the time gone? I remember when I was much younger, my grandmother would tell me to slow down and not be in such a hurry to grow up. She told me time would start moving faster the older I got. And she was soooooo right!
I’m looking forward to this summer. We haven’t loaded the calendar quite as full as in summers past. I’m looking forward to a slower paced summer. I’m sure the boys will find ways to fill it with swimming, friends and other activities… but I see plenty of family time and play time in our future.
Happy Summer Break!
Congratulations to all the Graduates!!!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Water Update
Turns out the water damage was minor. Luckily it was caught quickly! The carpet guys are supposed to be at the house today to put down new padding, then the carpet will be stretched, cleaned and fluffed! So now the carpet will be extra, extra clean! Mom says the house looks and smells good and the insurance adjuster said there's no drywall or wood damage. Yippeee!!! A special "Thank You!" to my neighbor, Ms. Cynthia, for calling the realtor when she saw the water!!! Another special "Thank You!" to our Realtor, Diane, for jumping on the ball and getting people out to the house pronto! And a big "Thank You!" to my mom and brother-in-law, Jason, for going out to meet the adjuster at the house! Everyone's help was and is greatly appreciated. It made a stressful, long-distance situation a lot easier to handle!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Water
My realtor called me this morning. I was very excited to see her name pop up on caller id, but I knew within seconds it wasn't an offer call. Turns out my neighbor called her to let her know there was water coming out of our garage. Our realtor was hopeful it would be the hot water heater... that would be an easy fix. Unfortunately, it was not the water heater, it was the supply line to our hall bathroom on the opposite side of the house. My brain kind of got fuzzy at that point. This is the second time we've lived this scenario... house sitting empty for sale and experience internal flooding... all I good do was laugh! So, the water's been turned off, A/C's turned off, carpet guys been called and Steve's contacted our insurance company. I'm just going to continue laughing for now and try to finish a presentation.
Ahhhhh... I keep hearing "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" in my head... :)
Ahhhhh... I keep hearing "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" in my head... :)
Monday, May 12, 2008
No Offer
Well… it just wasn’t meant to be. The idea of an offer on my birthday was fabulous! The idea alone made my birthday that much more exciting. But, no offer was presented. Turns out the realtor got ahead of himself. The husband was prepared to make an offer, but the wife didn’t want to live in that particular neighborhood.
Oh well… It’s all good! I know the right offer will come at the right time. And I still had a fabulous birthday!
Oh well… It’s all good! I know the right offer will come at the right time. And I still had a fabulous birthday!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Birthdays and House Offers
Okay… I called our Realtor in Oklahoma this morning to check in and see if there was any new movement/news on the house. I’ve been doing this every couple of weeks. Turns out she'd just received a phone call letting her know she'd be receiving an offer on our house this afternoon! She didn't want to call us until she had the offer in hand. She didn’t want to get our hopes up and said there have been a lot of low-ball offers coming in due to the market.
As soon as I heard the word offer I got goose bumps and tears in my eyes. I said "Diane, do you know what today is?" "It's my birthday!"
What a birthday present!!!
Everyone say a little prayer, cross your fingers, think happy thoughts...
As soon as I heard the word offer I got goose bumps and tears in my eyes. I said "Diane, do you know what today is?" "It's my birthday!"
What a birthday present!!!
Everyone say a little prayer, cross your fingers, think happy thoughts...
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
"Thank You"
It's amazing how good a "Thank You" can sound!
It's the little things, you know?!
My oldest son thanked me this morning, without prompting even. I hadn't done anything overly remarkable, I simply handed him something he hadn't asked for and I wasn't sure if he'd even want it or take it. The graditude was quite unexpected and it's made my whole day. Manners these days can be very touch and go... It's almost like starting from scratch at times. But not today. Today he said "Thank You" and even flashed me a smile!
If I haven't told you "Thank You"... well... Thank You!
Thank you for reading... for caring... for commenting... for calling... for advising... Thank You! :)
It's the little things, you know?!
My oldest son thanked me this morning, without prompting even. I hadn't done anything overly remarkable, I simply handed him something he hadn't asked for and I wasn't sure if he'd even want it or take it. The graditude was quite unexpected and it's made my whole day. Manners these days can be very touch and go... It's almost like starting from scratch at times. But not today. Today he said "Thank You" and even flashed me a smile!
If I haven't told you "Thank You"... well... Thank You!
Thank you for reading... for caring... for commenting... for calling... for advising... Thank You! :)
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Eyebrows...
It’s an interesting feature - eyebrows. They can really affect the way a person looks, how a person’s emotions and reactions are perceived. They come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Some people let them grow freely, some keep them neat and trim, some wax, some pluck, some change the color, some draw them on and some even get eyebrow tattoos!
I’ve always had decent eyebrows. Fairly low maintenance, good color and they seem to work well with my eyes and face… but as I get older they continue to grow in various directions; up, out, under… it’s led to a necessary relationship with an eyebrow wax professional.
This past weekend I was severely overdue with no appointment and my eyebrow professional had no availability. I’d plucked and snipped but there was no getting around it, I needed help. I probably could have waited another couple of days, but it was making me crazy! So I packed myself up and headed out to try someone new.
I explained I didn’t like them too thin or too short. I even demonstrated the desired look. Explained I really just needed help cleaning them up a bit. Well… she cleaned them up alright!
Take a standard size post-it note and fold it in half. The short side is the current length of my eyebrows. You may think it’s not that bad and I’ve seen other women with similar eyebrows, but I look absolutely ridiculous!!! Right at the point where my eyebrows should start to arc back down - they stop. It's to the point I’m considering purchasing some fake brows to paste along with the ones I’ve still got. And don’t suggest adding to them with a brow pencil! Penciling in the part that’s missing looks worse than leaving them as they are!
I know they’ll grow back eventually. Can I just tell you, I literally jump every time I see myself in the mirror. Maybe it's time to cut some long bangs or something!
Wow! All this from eyebrows…
I’ve always had decent eyebrows. Fairly low maintenance, good color and they seem to work well with my eyes and face… but as I get older they continue to grow in various directions; up, out, under… it’s led to a necessary relationship with an eyebrow wax professional.
This past weekend I was severely overdue with no appointment and my eyebrow professional had no availability. I’d plucked and snipped but there was no getting around it, I needed help. I probably could have waited another couple of days, but it was making me crazy! So I packed myself up and headed out to try someone new.
I explained I didn’t like them too thin or too short. I even demonstrated the desired look. Explained I really just needed help cleaning them up a bit. Well… she cleaned them up alright!
Take a standard size post-it note and fold it in half. The short side is the current length of my eyebrows. You may think it’s not that bad and I’ve seen other women with similar eyebrows, but I look absolutely ridiculous!!! Right at the point where my eyebrows should start to arc back down - they stop. It's to the point I’m considering purchasing some fake brows to paste along with the ones I’ve still got. And don’t suggest adding to them with a brow pencil! Penciling in the part that’s missing looks worse than leaving them as they are!
I know they’ll grow back eventually. Can I just tell you, I literally jump every time I see myself in the mirror. Maybe it's time to cut some long bangs or something!
Wow! All this from eyebrows…
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Blogger's Block
I keep opening up my blog, waiting for something insightful, helpful, heartfelt, and/or at least readable to magically flow from my brain to the keyboard. Unfortunately, my brain seems a bit overwhelmed and I can't seem to slow it down enough to come up with one complete thought! :)
I've read plenty of great blogs the last couple of weeks. I've felt inspired, educated, hopeful... I would love to bring these same characteristics to the pages of this blog.
These are things my brain is wrestling with:
Family... SO many topics
Being a Wife and Friend to my Husband
Being a good parent to my 11 and 13-year-old sons... YIKES!
Baby wants… :)
Framing Up this new chapter and journey in our lives
Being the disciple I desire to be
Finding our new Church home
Finding a good youth program for the boys
Turning "35"
My parents are coming for my birthday… where to go, what to do…
Finding good friends
Summer… what to do, where to go… camps, pools, parks, football???
Sports
School issues
Musical instruments
Eating Better
I've read plenty of great blogs the last couple of weeks. I've felt inspired, educated, hopeful... I would love to bring these same characteristics to the pages of this blog.
These are things my brain is wrestling with:
Family... SO many topics
Being a Wife and Friend to my Husband
Being a good parent to my 11 and 13-year-old sons... YIKES!
Baby wants… :)
Framing Up this new chapter and journey in our lives
Being the disciple I desire to be
Finding our new Church home
Finding a good youth program for the boys
Turning "35"
My parents are coming for my birthday… where to go, what to do…
Finding good friends
Summer… what to do, where to go… camps, pools, parks, football???
Sports
School issues
Musical instruments
Eating Better
Sunshine... warmer weather
Hair… to cut or not to cut?
Tyler’s going to the Middle School today for a tour!
How much coffee is too much coffee... it wasn't that long ago I didn't even LIKE coffee???
Exercise... Have a gym membership, still using it... but what exercise fits me best?
I have friends running 5k's &Mini-Marathons... Could/Should I do this...
Selling our home in OKC... I'm at peace with the situation and know things will happen in time
Purchasing a home in Omaha... houses in this area are more expensive and the taxes are insane!
Job Stuff... where am I, what do I want to do, where do I want to be
Life Stuff
Germany
Honey-do Stuff
Wanting Stuff
And so many other things… clicking and swishing...
Friday, April 18, 2008
Turning Point
Your troubles can sometimes be your greatest blessings. Because those troubles will hound you relentlessly until you make valuable improvements.
Your troubles help you to see and understand your weaknesses. And that enables you to start transforming those weaknesses into strengths.
The best way to respond to trouble is not to curse it, but to do it one better. See each challenge as an opportunity to raise yourself to a higher level.
As with everything else, your troubles are what you make of them. You can choose to make each one a turning point to a more positive and fulfilled life.
Many of history's greatest accomplishments were responses to terribly difficult problems. Many of your own greatest advances have been in response to challenging situations.
Choose to find the positive possibilities in everything that comes your way. And no problems will ever be able to hold you back.
-- Ralph Marston
Your troubles help you to see and understand your weaknesses. And that enables you to start transforming those weaknesses into strengths.
The best way to respond to trouble is not to curse it, but to do it one better. See each challenge as an opportunity to raise yourself to a higher level.
As with everything else, your troubles are what you make of them. You can choose to make each one a turning point to a more positive and fulfilled life.
Many of history's greatest accomplishments were responses to terribly difficult problems. Many of your own greatest advances have been in response to challenging situations.
Choose to find the positive possibilities in everything that comes your way. And no problems will ever be able to hold you back.
-- Ralph Marston
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Tornado Drill
Last Thursday I received a handy-dandy e-mail from my "3rd Floor Northeast Quadrant Safety Captain" spelling out the specifics of what to do and where to go in an emergency.
The Captain was nice enough to come find me, knowing I was from "Tornado Alley," to make sure I knew we’d be having a Tornado Drill in the not too distant future.
Well… today was the day!
And although she warned me we would be having a drill, she did not warn me it would be a FULL-FLEDGE LIVE PERFORMANCE type drill. :p
Its 10:00 AM, I’m typing away at my computer, do-ti-do… when all of the sudden I hear the Weather Radio on our Admin’s desk start squawking. I can’t completely understand what the guy is saying, but it’s something involving a Tornado, the Omaha and Council Bluffs area, and seeking shelter. So I turn to look outside… it doesn’t look bad… so I get up and walk over closer to our Admin’s desk to listen. She’s not there, nobody else seems to be around, but sure enough there's weather radio and it's talking about a tornado.
I turn to look outside again, it's sunny, there aren't any clouds??? Then the outdoor sirens start blaring!!! What???
I immediately start thinking where is this thing, where are my boys, where is Steve?
Then… finally… our security guy makes an announcement over the intercom telling us to go to our designated shelter area and I finally hear the word "drill."
Along comes my Safety Captain, encouraging me to make my way to the shelter area. Huh? I’m positive I had to have the funniest look on my face. I was seconds away from forced self-control emergency mode and here she was with her walky-talky and a smile.
You’ve got to be kidding me?!?!
Now that's a tornado drill!
Friday, April 4, 2008
Houses...
We moved to Omaha, Nebraska on December 27th. We left knowing our home in OKC wasn't sold and we wouldn't have a home in Omaha until it did.
We discussed Steve going on ahead and the boys and I staying behind until the house sold. Possibly letting the boys finish the school year with friends. But ultimately, after thought and prayer, we decided it was best to keep our family unit together. So... we moved.
Today is April 4th.
Our OKC home is still on the market... positive showings, but no offers.
Interest rates are low.
There are several homes for sale in the area we'd like to live.
People around us are planting flowers and starting warmer weather projects.
I want to buy a house… I want a low interest rate… I want to plant flowers... I want to plan projects...
I know I can do some of these things where I am, but it's not the same.
I'm trying to focus, I'm trying to remember things do not happen in my time, and I'm trying to trust things are going to fall into place when they're supposed to... but it's hard.
Pray for me! Pray for us! Pray for our home!
We discussed Steve going on ahead and the boys and I staying behind until the house sold. Possibly letting the boys finish the school year with friends. But ultimately, after thought and prayer, we decided it was best to keep our family unit together. So... we moved.
Today is April 4th.
Our OKC home is still on the market... positive showings, but no offers.
Interest rates are low.
There are several homes for sale in the area we'd like to live.
People around us are planting flowers and starting warmer weather projects.
I want to buy a house… I want a low interest rate… I want to plant flowers... I want to plan projects...
I know I can do some of these things where I am, but it's not the same.
I'm trying to focus, I'm trying to remember things do not happen in my time, and I'm trying to trust things are going to fall into place when they're supposed to... but it's hard.
Pray for me! Pray for us! Pray for our home!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Husbands...
Too many times, women find themselves huddled together thrashing out what their husbands/boyfriends did or didn’t do. It’s an easy trap to fall into and as much as I liked to say I’ve never done it… I’d be a lying.
It was a wake-up call for me in the earlier days of our marriage to continually hear how remarkably Steve talked about me to other people. Even at times when I’d been less than pleasant… Even at times when I’d done or not done certain things… he still portrayed me to others as wonderful.
When I asked him about it, he told me he loved me, he cherished me and why would he want anyone else to think less than the best of me.
While this statement left me feeling thrilled, it also left me feeling like slime.
I made it a point from that moment on not to chime in to the bashing of husbands or to run and find my friends to tell them what he’d done or not done. Instead… I praised him, I pointed out the positives, and I did my best to refrain from speaking about less than his best.
I’d like to say I’m perfect in this regard and I’ve never said a foul word since… but again, it would be a lie. But I can say, each time something negative has come out of my mouth, it’s stirred inside of me, churning and brewing. It hurt. Why would I want anyone else to think less than the best about my husband and best friend?
So, I found it refreshing today to read a friend’s blog encouraging all women to speak positively to and over the men in their lives.
Below is an excerpt from “How to Control Your Man” (don’t let the title fool you, it’s a wonderful blog.)
Ladies, God has put in us the power of influence. What we do with it can either build a man up in Christ or tear him down.
I thank Pastor JT all the time for taking care of us financially, spiritually, emotionally and many other ways. I began doing this even before he really stepped up to the plate in some of those areas. I spoke over him a vision for what I knew he could be, and he rose to it. I would thank him for working so hard at work. I would thank him for being attentive to the girls. I would thank him for hearing me out when I had a bad day. I tell him often that I think he is such a man. Warrior talk if you will.
I asked him what are the ways I make him feel like I man. Here's his responses:
"When you build me up in front of other people and I can hear you."
"When you tell me you feel safe with me."
"When you compliment the way I look, you know, like a stud!"
"When you have my back with the girls even if you disagree with me."
All of these have the ring of respect.
Men crave respect just as we crave love. Respect your man. If you have a struggle with this, find something that you do respect him for and tell him so.
He might be a hard worker. Maybe he can balance a budget like no man's business. Maybe he can make a small cottage out of a 2x4 and nails. Whatever you can find to show respect, find it and say it. They live off of respect. Don't steal it from them. Speak it into their lives. If you can't, start praying for ways that you can.
Start being deliberate about finding something you can thank him for, rather than nag him for. Nagging NEVER works. You might get what you want, but it won't be how you want it. He'll do it because he's sick of hearing you nag. Take a note from the Bible.
Proverbs 27:15-16 A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.
Are you someone prone to being quarrelsome? I know that this can come from not getting your needs met either. He doesn't meet your needs, you don't meet his, so he doesn't meet yours. Around and around it goes. But, we can be the one to decide to make a change. Stop the cycle. Be the one who speaks life into your husband. Speak honor. Speak respect. You might just notice that your world is a lot more wonderful.
Your words hold the power to drive your man into a cave or to raise your man into a Warrior.
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Prov. 16:24
I challenge all of us, to work diligently to speak positively to and over all the people in our lives, especially our husbands, our children, our loved ones.
It was a wake-up call for me in the earlier days of our marriage to continually hear how remarkably Steve talked about me to other people. Even at times when I’d been less than pleasant… Even at times when I’d done or not done certain things… he still portrayed me to others as wonderful.
When I asked him about it, he told me he loved me, he cherished me and why would he want anyone else to think less than the best of me.
While this statement left me feeling thrilled, it also left me feeling like slime.
I made it a point from that moment on not to chime in to the bashing of husbands or to run and find my friends to tell them what he’d done or not done. Instead… I praised him, I pointed out the positives, and I did my best to refrain from speaking about less than his best.
I’d like to say I’m perfect in this regard and I’ve never said a foul word since… but again, it would be a lie. But I can say, each time something negative has come out of my mouth, it’s stirred inside of me, churning and brewing. It hurt. Why would I want anyone else to think less than the best about my husband and best friend?
So, I found it refreshing today to read a friend’s blog encouraging all women to speak positively to and over the men in their lives.
Below is an excerpt from “How to Control Your Man” (don’t let the title fool you, it’s a wonderful blog.)
Ladies, God has put in us the power of influence. What we do with it can either build a man up in Christ or tear him down.
I thank Pastor JT all the time for taking care of us financially, spiritually, emotionally and many other ways. I began doing this even before he really stepped up to the plate in some of those areas. I spoke over him a vision for what I knew he could be, and he rose to it. I would thank him for working so hard at work. I would thank him for being attentive to the girls. I would thank him for hearing me out when I had a bad day. I tell him often that I think he is such a man. Warrior talk if you will.
I asked him what are the ways I make him feel like I man. Here's his responses:
"When you build me up in front of other people and I can hear you."
"When you tell me you feel safe with me."
"When you compliment the way I look, you know, like a stud!"
"When you have my back with the girls even if you disagree with me."
All of these have the ring of respect.
Men crave respect just as we crave love. Respect your man. If you have a struggle with this, find something that you do respect him for and tell him so.
He might be a hard worker. Maybe he can balance a budget like no man's business. Maybe he can make a small cottage out of a 2x4 and nails. Whatever you can find to show respect, find it and say it. They live off of respect. Don't steal it from them. Speak it into their lives. If you can't, start praying for ways that you can.
Start being deliberate about finding something you can thank him for, rather than nag him for. Nagging NEVER works. You might get what you want, but it won't be how you want it. He'll do it because he's sick of hearing you nag. Take a note from the Bible.
Proverbs 27:15-16 A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.
Are you someone prone to being quarrelsome? I know that this can come from not getting your needs met either. He doesn't meet your needs, you don't meet his, so he doesn't meet yours. Around and around it goes. But, we can be the one to decide to make a change. Stop the cycle. Be the one who speaks life into your husband. Speak honor. Speak respect. You might just notice that your world is a lot more wonderful.
Your words hold the power to drive your man into a cave or to raise your man into a Warrior.
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Prov. 16:24
I challenge all of us, to work diligently to speak positively to and over all the people in our lives, especially our husbands, our children, our loved ones.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Change
This morning, like most mornings, I visited several of my friends’ blogs. They always seem so inspiring and thought provoking! I also checked my MySpace, because I had posted pictures last night from our Easter Trip. While I was on MySpace I felt inclined to check on one friend’s page in particular and was touched by the song playing on her profile.
The song is “Still Reprise” by Ben Folds. I hadn’t heard it before, but it spoke to me and I decided to look up the words.
They were powerful to me. It spoke to where I am in this new chapter of my family's life and it was powerful to me because it was playing from the page of an amazing young woman taking on the challenges, risks and thrill of being a Youth Pastor.
First verse:
I must give the impression
that I have the answers for everything.
you were so disappointed
to see me unravel so easily.
It’s only change
only everything I know
even the things
that seem still are still changing.
How many of us feel like we should have the answers? How many of us unravel and then struggle with remorse over displaying our vulnerability?
Second verse:
mother misses her baby
but I only wanted to be me
she changed address and haircuts
and boyfriends and light bulbs it's easy
but it’s only change
only everything I know
even the things
that seem still are still changing
In these words I saw myself, proud and eager to watch my two boys continue to grow and spread their wings, knowing their excitement and desire to discover who they are, and yet me, their momma, still desiring for them to be my sweet little boys.
I could also hear similar words coming from each of my sons, regarding everything they know changing… the world around them, their schools, church, friends, their own emotions and bodies… “even the things that seem still are still changing”
Verse Three:
I stay focused on details
it keeps me from feeling the big things
but watch the microscope long enough
things that seem still are still changing
I don’t want this to seem overly downhearted or anything, but I can see this verse in all four members of my family. We each try to focus on certain details, not the same details, but our own… sometimes in an effort, I think, not to feel the bigger things. At the same time, some part of us wants to feel those things.
Anytime there’s a big change, a big move… you think about going back, what might have been, what if you could go back to the way things were. As much as we might want to go back, things would be different, because everything is constantly changing. Change can be good and often is… but sometimes it’s tricky, it can be difficult.
I’m holding to the faith Steve and I are following a changing path laid before us for a reason.
There will be difficult days, there will be unraveling, but there will also be faith and resolve to keep moving forward… regardless of the changes.
The song is “Still Reprise” by Ben Folds. I hadn’t heard it before, but it spoke to me and I decided to look up the words.
They were powerful to me. It spoke to where I am in this new chapter of my family's life and it was powerful to me because it was playing from the page of an amazing young woman taking on the challenges, risks and thrill of being a Youth Pastor.
First verse:
I must give the impression
that I have the answers for everything.
you were so disappointed
to see me unravel so easily.
It’s only change
only everything I know
even the things
that seem still are still changing.
How many of us feel like we should have the answers? How many of us unravel and then struggle with remorse over displaying our vulnerability?
Second verse:
mother misses her baby
but I only wanted to be me
she changed address and haircuts
and boyfriends and light bulbs it's easy
but it’s only change
only everything I know
even the things
that seem still are still changing
In these words I saw myself, proud and eager to watch my two boys continue to grow and spread their wings, knowing their excitement and desire to discover who they are, and yet me, their momma, still desiring for them to be my sweet little boys.
I could also hear similar words coming from each of my sons, regarding everything they know changing… the world around them, their schools, church, friends, their own emotions and bodies… “even the things that seem still are still changing”
Verse Three:
I stay focused on details
it keeps me from feeling the big things
but watch the microscope long enough
things that seem still are still changing
I don’t want this to seem overly downhearted or anything, but I can see this verse in all four members of my family. We each try to focus on certain details, not the same details, but our own… sometimes in an effort, I think, not to feel the bigger things. At the same time, some part of us wants to feel those things.
Anytime there’s a big change, a big move… you think about going back, what might have been, what if you could go back to the way things were. As much as we might want to go back, things would be different, because everything is constantly changing. Change can be good and often is… but sometimes it’s tricky, it can be difficult.
I’m holding to the faith Steve and I are following a changing path laid before us for a reason.
There will be difficult days, there will be unraveling, but there will also be faith and resolve to keep moving forward… regardless of the changes.
Friday, March 7, 2008
New Every Morning...
Oh how I love Fridays... I feel good all day knowing it's the last day of the work week! I usually wear jeans, pull my hair back and greet everyone with a smile. The whole world just seems friendlier! :)
As much as I love Friday... and as much as I look forward to Friday... I started thinking... am I wishing away my week? As soon as Monday morning hits, I'm counting down to Friday. Am I letting life zip on by while I wait for the weekend?
My grandmother once told me she wakes up every morning thankful everything's still working and excited about the opportunities a new day brings. WOW!
I want to approach every day looking for the blessings and opportunities and not just grumble and wish it were Friday!
I think I’ll always look forward to Fridays... But starting right now, (well... I guess actually Monday) I’m going to do my best to appreciate the opportunities He makes new every morning!
Happy Friday!
As much as I love Friday... and as much as I look forward to Friday... I started thinking... am I wishing away my week? As soon as Monday morning hits, I'm counting down to Friday. Am I letting life zip on by while I wait for the weekend?
My grandmother once told me she wakes up every morning thankful everything's still working and excited about the opportunities a new day brings. WOW!
I want to approach every day looking for the blessings and opportunities and not just grumble and wish it were Friday!
I think I’ll always look forward to Fridays... But starting right now, (well... I guess actually Monday) I’m going to do my best to appreciate the opportunities He makes new every morning!
Happy Friday!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Simply Amazing...
I was bebopping in my cubicle at work… listening to “Revolutionary Love” and was suddenly struck with the fact… regardless of how much I doubt myself or worry about the little stuff, His love is unchanging. Regardless of my faults, my sin… He has a never changing love for me. In spite of the bad days, bad moods, bad behavior… He has a revolutionary love for all of us.
What a wonderfully, amazingly, beautiful thing...
Desperation leads us here, Leads us here
Illumination meets us here, Meets us here
Revelation brings us here, Brings us here
Restoration frees us here, Frees us here
And I don't want to leave, I don't want to leave this place
No, I don't want to leave, I never want to leave this place
It's so amazing, Your unchanging love
Simply amazing, Never changing love
Love, love revolutionary love
Reparation leads us here, Leads us here
Liberation meets us here, Meets us here
Jubilation brings us here, Brings us here
Higher elevation frees us here, Frees us here
You're a revolution I want to be, Revolutionary
You're a revolution I want to be, Revolutionary
You're a revolution I want to be, love, love, love
Revolutionary love
What a wonderfully, amazingly, beautiful thing...
Desperation leads us here, Leads us here
Illumination meets us here, Meets us here
Revelation brings us here, Brings us here
Restoration frees us here, Frees us here
And I don't want to leave, I don't want to leave this place
No, I don't want to leave, I never want to leave this place
It's so amazing, Your unchanging love
Simply amazing, Never changing love
Love, love revolutionary love
Reparation leads us here, Leads us here
Liberation meets us here, Meets us here
Jubilation brings us here, Brings us here
Higher elevation frees us here, Frees us here
You're a revolution I want to be, Revolutionary
You're a revolution I want to be, Revolutionary
You're a revolution I want to be, love, love, love
Revolutionary love
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
I DON'T GET IT?
Do you ever find yourself in scenarios, where everyone around you seems to think you know more than you do? Or in situations where you feel like you’ve completely messed up or bombed and everyone is telling you how great you did???
I feel this way often.
I don’t know if its self-doubt, lack of self-esteem or lagging self confidence, but I continually find myself in these scenarios. I don’t think I lack self-confidence or esteem, but I sure don’t see things the way others seem to…
I don’t want to be a whiney or needy person. I don’t want to be that person needing constant affirmation. I seriously don’t get it though. Why are other people’s perceptions or willingness to believe in my abilities so much different than my own? It's very confusing...
I feel this way often.
I don’t know if its self-doubt, lack of self-esteem or lagging self confidence, but I continually find myself in these scenarios. I don’t think I lack self-confidence or esteem, but I sure don’t see things the way others seem to…
I don’t want to be a whiney or needy person. I don’t want to be that person needing constant affirmation. I seriously don’t get it though. Why are other people’s perceptions or willingness to believe in my abilities so much different than my own? It's very confusing...
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
High Heels and Warriors...
I had a rough day yesterday. I wasn’t going to blog about it, but today I am more myself again and feel I can safely share without being too melodramatic!
Our trip to Oklahoma this weekend was wonderful!!! But leaving was absolutely miserable. If it hadn’t been for the boys, I probably would have cried the whole way home. There was an ache in my heart, grief for leaving my family, friends, church and familiarity. The rational side of me knows I can go back, I can call, I can write… the small child in me did not care about anything rational and was screaming and throwing one heck of a temper tantrum.
Yesterday, after dropping Blake off at school, the tears started. I cried out to God asking him to take it from me, to help me hold on to my joy. But I couldn’t seem to shake it. I kept my head down and to myself most of the day trying to keep from crying. If I could have, I’d have just taken the day off.
In an effort not to drag down or upset anyone, I tried not to talk about it. I know they would have willingly and lovingly listened and would have offered their words of comfort and strength, but I knew I wasn’t in a fair place. Plus I was feeling silly and guilty, after all... there are so many people dealing with things ten time more significant than feeling homesick! After sulking in my pity and sadness, with these thoughts and voices fueling my misery, I came to the realization I was under attack.
I turned to a friend, a mentor, a prayer warrior. I knew as soon as she saw my plea she would respond in a way that would help me turn it around! Not to put any added pressure on her, but she just seems to be blessed with the gift of knowing what to say and which scripture to quote! I would gladly stand beside her in any battle!
Sure enough, God spoke through her when she responded.
"Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time: casting all your care upon Him; for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour” I Peter 5:6-8
I can’t explain it, but I could feel the words. I was feeling hunted and struggling to hold onto and look to HIM! But through the Living Word I was able to find the strength to rebuke it and tell my adversary to “BE GONE!” It was still a tough evening. My opponent did not give up easily.
Today... I am better. Started a little sluggish and grabbed Steve and asked him to pray over me! I felt a little stronger… then before walking out the door, I grabbed my boys and we prayed together as a family. I left the house knowing it would be a good day! I prayed and sang along with the radio all the way to work!
It hasn’t been perfect. I’ve allowed some frustrations with one of the boys’ teachers get to me… (That’s a whole nother blog!) But for the most part… I feel His light in my heart and I can feel it spreading!
I’ve been out reading blogs of friends and fellow LifeChurchers. They’ve all played a key part in pushing me through the last couple of weeks. One blog in particular, which just happens to be someone I went to High School with, has some great insight. I’ve really enjoyed her concept of a Stiletto Army and I’m ready to start one here in Omaha! I’ll be including my family, friends and warriors from OKC, but I know I’ve got to recruit some ground troops here! We all need those friends to turn to... even when the struggle seems small, insignificant or silly!
What about you? Do you have your High Heeled Warriors in place?
Our trip to Oklahoma this weekend was wonderful!!! But leaving was absolutely miserable. If it hadn’t been for the boys, I probably would have cried the whole way home. There was an ache in my heart, grief for leaving my family, friends, church and familiarity. The rational side of me knows I can go back, I can call, I can write… the small child in me did not care about anything rational and was screaming and throwing one heck of a temper tantrum.
Yesterday, after dropping Blake off at school, the tears started. I cried out to God asking him to take it from me, to help me hold on to my joy. But I couldn’t seem to shake it. I kept my head down and to myself most of the day trying to keep from crying. If I could have, I’d have just taken the day off.
In an effort not to drag down or upset anyone, I tried not to talk about it. I know they would have willingly and lovingly listened and would have offered their words of comfort and strength, but I knew I wasn’t in a fair place. Plus I was feeling silly and guilty, after all... there are so many people dealing with things ten time more significant than feeling homesick! After sulking in my pity and sadness, with these thoughts and voices fueling my misery, I came to the realization I was under attack.
I turned to a friend, a mentor, a prayer warrior. I knew as soon as she saw my plea she would respond in a way that would help me turn it around! Not to put any added pressure on her, but she just seems to be blessed with the gift of knowing what to say and which scripture to quote! I would gladly stand beside her in any battle!
Sure enough, God spoke through her when she responded.
"Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time: casting all your care upon Him; for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour” I Peter 5:6-8
I can’t explain it, but I could feel the words. I was feeling hunted and struggling to hold onto and look to HIM! But through the Living Word I was able to find the strength to rebuke it and tell my adversary to “BE GONE!” It was still a tough evening. My opponent did not give up easily.
Today... I am better. Started a little sluggish and grabbed Steve and asked him to pray over me! I felt a little stronger… then before walking out the door, I grabbed my boys and we prayed together as a family. I left the house knowing it would be a good day! I prayed and sang along with the radio all the way to work!
It hasn’t been perfect. I’ve allowed some frustrations with one of the boys’ teachers get to me… (That’s a whole nother blog!) But for the most part… I feel His light in my heart and I can feel it spreading!
I’ve been out reading blogs of friends and fellow LifeChurchers. They’ve all played a key part in pushing me through the last couple of weeks. One blog in particular, which just happens to be someone I went to High School with, has some great insight. I’ve really enjoyed her concept of a Stiletto Army and I’m ready to start one here in Omaha! I’ll be including my family, friends and warriors from OKC, but I know I’ve got to recruit some ground troops here! We all need those friends to turn to... even when the struggle seems small, insignificant or silly!
What about you? Do you have your High Heeled Warriors in place?
Monday, March 3, 2008
Quick Trip
We finally made it back to OKC!!! It was a quick trip; we were in OKC for about 34 hours, but we tried to make the most of the time we had!
I woke up Saturday morning to the sound of squirrels in the attic. I had a little quiet time to visit with my mom and dad. Then we rallied the troops and headed to my grandparents’ for brunch. It was a beautiful morning and my favorite part was having everyone out front in the sunshine talking, laughing and watching the boys and my nieces goofing around!
Mid-afternoon some of the boys’ friends came to my parent’s house. It was great of my parents to open their home. Later, we attended the NW Life Church 5:00 service. It felt good to walk through the doors! I tried to soak up everything I could; the service, the worship, sitting next to my mom, seeing familiar faces, talking with friends, watching the boys interact with their friends and leaders... it was wonderful! (I loved the expression on Anna’s face and the hug she gave me!)
After church, it was like we'd never left... we drove two of Blake’s friends home and acquired a stow-away. One of Blake's friends stayed with us the rest of the evening. We made a quick trip to see some friends and then returned to my parents' house to spend more time with family and friends.
We didn’t quite make it everywhere and see everyone… but there are more trips to OKC in our future! :)
I woke up Saturday morning to the sound of squirrels in the attic. I had a little quiet time to visit with my mom and dad. Then we rallied the troops and headed to my grandparents’ for brunch. It was a beautiful morning and my favorite part was having everyone out front in the sunshine talking, laughing and watching the boys and my nieces goofing around!
Mid-afternoon some of the boys’ friends came to my parent’s house. It was great of my parents to open their home. Later, we attended the NW Life Church 5:00 service. It felt good to walk through the doors! I tried to soak up everything I could; the service, the worship, sitting next to my mom, seeing familiar faces, talking with friends, watching the boys interact with their friends and leaders... it was wonderful! (I loved the expression on Anna’s face and the hug she gave me!)
After church, it was like we'd never left... we drove two of Blake’s friends home and acquired a stow-away. One of Blake's friends stayed with us the rest of the evening. We made a quick trip to see some friends and then returned to my parents' house to spend more time with family and friends.
We didn’t quite make it everywhere and see everyone… but there are more trips to OKC in our future! :)
Friday, February 29, 2008
Windshield Wipers and Happiness…
I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited about windshield wipers!
We had some intense weather Monday afternoon. When I left the office around 4:30 PM my windows were covered with ice. I gave the van some time to warm up and then pulled out my handy-dandy ice scraper. I hit the main spots, got back in and turned on the windshield wipers to clear the remaining ice and remove the ice/snow/rain mix falling from the sky. My driver’s side windshield wiper pulled apart like a mozzarella cheese stick! I guess a portion of it had somehow re-frozen to the glass??? This, obviously, is not the happiness part…
Tuesday Steve drove the van so he could replace my windshield wipers. Let me just tell you… I have decided paying a little more for windshield wipers is well worth it! We’ve generally gotten the inexpensive ones. They did the job and I had no complaints. But now that I’ve had access to these babies, there’s no turning back!
They form to the glass and move ever so effortlessly back and forth. Each time it’s as if the windows have just been squeegeed and wiped clean! It’s a thing of beauty, I tell you! A thing of beauty! It doesn’t matter if you have a lot of moisture or minimal amount of moisture, your windshield looks beautiful!!! No streaking! And the noise level is minimal. No squeaking! Simply wonderful!
Happy Friday Everyone!!!
We had some intense weather Monday afternoon. When I left the office around 4:30 PM my windows were covered with ice. I gave the van some time to warm up and then pulled out my handy-dandy ice scraper. I hit the main spots, got back in and turned on the windshield wipers to clear the remaining ice and remove the ice/snow/rain mix falling from the sky. My driver’s side windshield wiper pulled apart like a mozzarella cheese stick! I guess a portion of it had somehow re-frozen to the glass??? This, obviously, is not the happiness part…
Tuesday Steve drove the van so he could replace my windshield wipers. Let me just tell you… I have decided paying a little more for windshield wipers is well worth it! We’ve generally gotten the inexpensive ones. They did the job and I had no complaints. But now that I’ve had access to these babies, there’s no turning back!
They form to the glass and move ever so effortlessly back and forth. Each time it’s as if the windows have just been squeegeed and wiped clean! It’s a thing of beauty, I tell you! A thing of beauty! It doesn’t matter if you have a lot of moisture or minimal amount of moisture, your windshield looks beautiful!!! No streaking! And the noise level is minimal. No squeaking! Simply wonderful!
Happy Friday Everyone!!!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Colds and Flu and Darth Vader… Oh My…
Our house has been hit hard this winter. I’m not sure if it’s the move and the fact all of us are trying to acclimate to the different strains and varieties here, or if it's the difference in climate and humidity??? Whatever it is, we're ready to be done. We’ve had a couple of different varieties of viruses come through our household and even received a pleasant, thankfully short lived, visit from the flu (which prevented a trip to OKC).
Steve and Blake seem to be taking the worst of it.
Steve has been home sick most of this week, with what he thought was some type of stomach bug. I’m thinking it’s something closer to an influenza bug. He tried to go to work today and his boss sent him home!
Blake ran home yesterday to take medicine between school and practice. I learned this when I got home after attempting to pick him up from practice and learning he'd walked home a little early. When I got home, his cheeks were warm and rosy, he was hoarse, raspy and seemed to be having a hard time breathing. By seven o’clock he had a temperature and was sounding more and more like Darth Vader. I’d have thought he was putting on a pretty good act, but he sounded even worse in his sleep! We took him to the doctor and were told us he has “adult onset croup.” It’s viral, no medicine prescribed, and it should take 5-9 days to run it’s course. Bummer…
Tyler was suffering from tired-itis this morning, but other than that seems to be doing okay. I’m feeling pretty good and trying to make sure everyone’s taking their vitamins and drinking plenty of fluids!
We’re supposed to once again attempt a trip to OKC this weekend. I’ve assured my momma we will be there unless someone is just absolutely beyond traveling!!! I’m hopeful the “force will be with us.” ;)
Prayers graciously accepted.
Steve and Blake seem to be taking the worst of it.
Steve has been home sick most of this week, with what he thought was some type of stomach bug. I’m thinking it’s something closer to an influenza bug. He tried to go to work today and his boss sent him home!
Blake ran home yesterday to take medicine between school and practice. I learned this when I got home after attempting to pick him up from practice and learning he'd walked home a little early. When I got home, his cheeks were warm and rosy, he was hoarse, raspy and seemed to be having a hard time breathing. By seven o’clock he had a temperature and was sounding more and more like Darth Vader. I’d have thought he was putting on a pretty good act, but he sounded even worse in his sleep! We took him to the doctor and were told us he has “adult onset croup.” It’s viral, no medicine prescribed, and it should take 5-9 days to run it’s course. Bummer…
Tyler was suffering from tired-itis this morning, but other than that seems to be doing okay. I’m feeling pretty good and trying to make sure everyone’s taking their vitamins and drinking plenty of fluids!
We’re supposed to once again attempt a trip to OKC this weekend. I’ve assured my momma we will be there unless someone is just absolutely beyond traveling!!! I’m hopeful the “force will be with us.” ;)
Prayers graciously accepted.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
A Better Day...
Yesterday’s post was pretty glum, but today is a better day! From the moment I picked Blake up, the evening was good. He was polite, respectful and cooperative. He took care of things and respected the limits I put out for TV/Computer time. Tyler was in a good mood and we worked through his math trying desperately to figure out his word problems… ugh…
Steve slept most of the evening. He was awake long enough to drink, eat some noodle soup, and let me check his temperature. The thermometer didn’t read very high, but he was burning up… I think it’s time to replace my digital thermometer. The boys and I ate dinner and then went to the gym for a while. They climbed the rock-wall. Then Tyler and his friend went to the bicycles and Blake went to the weights. We really didn’t have time once we were home to continue reading “Wild at Heart,” plus Steve was sleeping, so Tyler read our devotional and Blake prayed for us. Tyler did an excellent job reading and Blake’s prayer was short, simple, and eloquent. It was a nice ending to a nice evening.
Tyler and I spent some time talking and singing to help him wind down. We attempted to sing “The Rose” in honor of his Aunt Katie, but neither one of us could remember all the words… but we did remember the words to “I’ll Be Here,” “You Are My Pillow,” and some other Tyler favorites! Once Tyler was situated, I went to check on Blake. He was bunked down, covers up to his chin, with a package of crackers. The stinkin kid never stops eating and he’s skinny as a bean pole! He’s definitely going through another growing spurt! Thirteen and he’s past the 5’9 mark… and Tyler’s measuring taller than Blake did at eleven… I may need a second job just to buy groceries!!!
The positive energy continued into this morning. Everyone was able to get up and around and out the door without complaining, fighting, grumping, etc. Steve still wasn’t feeling well. He attempted to get up and around, but looked absolutely miserable. He said his entire body hurts. He supposed to try and get into the doctor today.
I drove Steve’s truck into work today. My driver-side windshield wiper needs to be replaced. Anyway… on the way to the gym last night, Blake had put in the “Red” cd, a Christian rock band. The song “Pieces” was playing. I kept replaying the song all the way to work. It was speaking to me. Yesterday I felt like I was in pieces and I felt a long way away from what keeps me centered. After a good evening with my boys and some quiet time and prayer time… I’m starting to feel whole again.
I'm here again - A thousand miles away from you - A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am - I tried so hard - Thought I could do this on my own - I've lost so much along the way
Then I'll see your face - I know I'm finally yours - I find everything I thought I lost before - You call my name - I come to you in pieces - So you can make me whole
I've come undone - But you make sense of who I am - Like puzzle pieces in your eye
Then I'll see your face - I know I'm finally yours - I find everything I thought I lost before - You call my name - I come to you in pieces - So you can make me whole!
Steve slept most of the evening. He was awake long enough to drink, eat some noodle soup, and let me check his temperature. The thermometer didn’t read very high, but he was burning up… I think it’s time to replace my digital thermometer. The boys and I ate dinner and then went to the gym for a while. They climbed the rock-wall. Then Tyler and his friend went to the bicycles and Blake went to the weights. We really didn’t have time once we were home to continue reading “Wild at Heart,” plus Steve was sleeping, so Tyler read our devotional and Blake prayed for us. Tyler did an excellent job reading and Blake’s prayer was short, simple, and eloquent. It was a nice ending to a nice evening.
Tyler and I spent some time talking and singing to help him wind down. We attempted to sing “The Rose” in honor of his Aunt Katie, but neither one of us could remember all the words… but we did remember the words to “I’ll Be Here,” “You Are My Pillow,” and some other Tyler favorites! Once Tyler was situated, I went to check on Blake. He was bunked down, covers up to his chin, with a package of crackers. The stinkin kid never stops eating and he’s skinny as a bean pole! He’s definitely going through another growing spurt! Thirteen and he’s past the 5’9 mark… and Tyler’s measuring taller than Blake did at eleven… I may need a second job just to buy groceries!!!
The positive energy continued into this morning. Everyone was able to get up and around and out the door without complaining, fighting, grumping, etc. Steve still wasn’t feeling well. He attempted to get up and around, but looked absolutely miserable. He said his entire body hurts. He supposed to try and get into the doctor today.
I drove Steve’s truck into work today. My driver-side windshield wiper needs to be replaced. Anyway… on the way to the gym last night, Blake had put in the “Red” cd, a Christian rock band. The song “Pieces” was playing. I kept replaying the song all the way to work. It was speaking to me. Yesterday I felt like I was in pieces and I felt a long way away from what keeps me centered. After a good evening with my boys and some quiet time and prayer time… I’m starting to feel whole again.
I'm here again - A thousand miles away from you - A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am - I tried so hard - Thought I could do this on my own - I've lost so much along the way
Then I'll see your face - I know I'm finally yours - I find everything I thought I lost before - You call my name - I come to you in pieces - So you can make me whole
I've come undone - But you make sense of who I am - Like puzzle pieces in your eye
Then I'll see your face - I know I'm finally yours - I find everything I thought I lost before - You call my name - I come to you in pieces - So you can make me whole!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
HomeSick…
Work is slow, I’m wearing a suit and it turns out I didn’t need to, I fought with Blake before leaving for work/school, poor Tyler looked as though he wanted to disappear into the sofa, Steve is sick, and I’m just in a funk I can’t seem to get rid of…
Tyler gave me extra hugs before I left the house. I really don't like starting anyone's day in such an unpleasant manner. I felt guilty the whole drive into work. I did text Blake when I arrived at work to apologize... he responded: "It ok" Those two grammatically wacky words made me laugh and cry. I’m anxious to see Tyler after school and apologize to him as well.
We’re going home this weekend. It can’t seem to get here fast enough. I’m anxious to see familiar faces and places. I’m hopeful it will be a bit of a boost for all of us! Don’t get me wrong, things are good in Omaha, but I think there are always ups and downs when you move and leave behind good friends and family.
I’ve been going through my friends’ blogs… looking through scriptures… hoping to somehow magically make this funk go away. I started to type that I’d been silently praying, but I don’t think I’ve actually made it through a full thought or prayer today. I'm under emotional attack.
I can hear a dear friend of mine reminding me not to let it steal my joy. I’ve lost count of the number of times we said this to one another and the number of times I broke into a chorus of… “I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart, where, down in my heart, where, down in my heart…” It’s just not the same when you’re singing it alone in your head.
Okay… enough. Got to get the JOY back!
I’ve neglected my private time with God. We’ve continued with our evening family devotionals and I pray on my way to work, but my prayers feel rehearsed and my quality time in the word is lacking. We’ve yet to find and plug into a new church home. It’s amazing what a difference missing one or both of these makes. I’m missing the fellowship with my LifeGroup, the interactions with the Switch Youth Group, being a part of something with my mom and the overall feeling of community and extended family a church home provides.
When I spoke with Steve earlier he said he planned to spend some quality time in prayer and meditation today while he was home. And we talked about needing to refocus ourselves and our family. We also talked about getting out… into the woods, to the river, to the lake… somewhere we all feel we can renew our spirit. Steve’s always said he feels closet to God when he’s out in nature away from the hustle and bustle of life. Finding somewhere quiet, surrounded by creation… that’s what we all need.
My reactions this morning were a manifestation of feeling homesick, frustrated and worn down. Although Blake has adjusted well in a lot of ways, there are struggles. Last night, for example, was not the best of evenings. A simple acknowledgement that he’s heard the words coming from my mouth would be fabulous. Refraining from looking at me as if he’d like to tell me where to go… would be refreshing. Taking care of the same responsibilities he’s always had and taken care of, would be wonderful. After feeling the need to completely remove myself from my eldest child’s presence to avoid behaving in a manner I would later regret, I got up and requested all TV’s, computers, video games, etc. be turned off and everyone make their way into our room.
Most of our books are still in storage, but there was one I found and decided it would actually be a really good fit. “Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge. I read the entire first chapter out loud while Blake lay on the floor next to the dog, Steve on his side of the bed with his eyes closed and Tyler wriggling between us. We’ve been reading our family devotionals and having family prayer time each night, but something was different about last night. When I finished we talked about it briefly, prayed and the boys went to bed. There was no complaining or arguing, there was no up and down and back and forth… they settled in and went to sleep. And I don’t think either of them moved all night. This hasn’t been the case for several weeks now.
So… tonight, we’ll be having a quiet, media-limited evening. Hopefully, we’ll do some connecting as a family and try to reinstate some order into what we’ve allowed to become a little too out of whack. I think Steve and I both loosened our reigns in an effort to “help” the boys’ transition. We tried to be understanding and cool about things. And I think some of it was necessary and good. But I think we may have “helped” a little too much. Time to get things back in order.
Well… I feel better now. I guess sometimes just typing it out makes it seem a little less overwhelming.
Tyler gave me extra hugs before I left the house. I really don't like starting anyone's day in such an unpleasant manner. I felt guilty the whole drive into work. I did text Blake when I arrived at work to apologize... he responded: "It ok" Those two grammatically wacky words made me laugh and cry. I’m anxious to see Tyler after school and apologize to him as well.
We’re going home this weekend. It can’t seem to get here fast enough. I’m anxious to see familiar faces and places. I’m hopeful it will be a bit of a boost for all of us! Don’t get me wrong, things are good in Omaha, but I think there are always ups and downs when you move and leave behind good friends and family.
I’ve been going through my friends’ blogs… looking through scriptures… hoping to somehow magically make this funk go away. I started to type that I’d been silently praying, but I don’t think I’ve actually made it through a full thought or prayer today. I'm under emotional attack.
I can hear a dear friend of mine reminding me not to let it steal my joy. I’ve lost count of the number of times we said this to one another and the number of times I broke into a chorus of… “I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart, where, down in my heart, where, down in my heart…” It’s just not the same when you’re singing it alone in your head.
Okay… enough. Got to get the JOY back!
I’ve neglected my private time with God. We’ve continued with our evening family devotionals and I pray on my way to work, but my prayers feel rehearsed and my quality time in the word is lacking. We’ve yet to find and plug into a new church home. It’s amazing what a difference missing one or both of these makes. I’m missing the fellowship with my LifeGroup, the interactions with the Switch Youth Group, being a part of something with my mom and the overall feeling of community and extended family a church home provides.
When I spoke with Steve earlier he said he planned to spend some quality time in prayer and meditation today while he was home. And we talked about needing to refocus ourselves and our family. We also talked about getting out… into the woods, to the river, to the lake… somewhere we all feel we can renew our spirit. Steve’s always said he feels closet to God when he’s out in nature away from the hustle and bustle of life. Finding somewhere quiet, surrounded by creation… that’s what we all need.
My reactions this morning were a manifestation of feeling homesick, frustrated and worn down. Although Blake has adjusted well in a lot of ways, there are struggles. Last night, for example, was not the best of evenings. A simple acknowledgement that he’s heard the words coming from my mouth would be fabulous. Refraining from looking at me as if he’d like to tell me where to go… would be refreshing. Taking care of the same responsibilities he’s always had and taken care of, would be wonderful. After feeling the need to completely remove myself from my eldest child’s presence to avoid behaving in a manner I would later regret, I got up and requested all TV’s, computers, video games, etc. be turned off and everyone make their way into our room.
Most of our books are still in storage, but there was one I found and decided it would actually be a really good fit. “Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge. I read the entire first chapter out loud while Blake lay on the floor next to the dog, Steve on his side of the bed with his eyes closed and Tyler wriggling between us. We’ve been reading our family devotionals and having family prayer time each night, but something was different about last night. When I finished we talked about it briefly, prayed and the boys went to bed. There was no complaining or arguing, there was no up and down and back and forth… they settled in and went to sleep. And I don’t think either of them moved all night. This hasn’t been the case for several weeks now.
So… tonight, we’ll be having a quiet, media-limited evening. Hopefully, we’ll do some connecting as a family and try to reinstate some order into what we’ve allowed to become a little too out of whack. I think Steve and I both loosened our reigns in an effort to “help” the boys’ transition. We tried to be understanding and cool about things. And I think some of it was necessary and good. But I think we may have “helped” a little too much. Time to get things back in order.
Well… I feel better now. I guess sometimes just typing it out makes it seem a little less overwhelming.
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